Week 18: “Poison Ivy Mysteries Fifth Anniversary Medley”

Audio:

Download link for MP3

Notes:

Five years ago, Poison Ivy Mysteries was working on putting on its very first show: Called to Murder, an LDS-themed murder mystery, at the Wiseguys comedy club in Orem. It was an inauspicious beginning, but from that day the company has put on twelve original shows (it will be thirteen in October, dun dun dun!), some of them several times, and has enjoyed success all around the Salt Lake area. I’ve been composing for these shows since day one, and this song I’m posting has snippets from every show I’ve done, along with original lyrics and a chorus specifically written for this medley.

Happy anniversary, Poison Ivy Mysteries!

Lyrics:

In the Orem 5067th Ward
We came along and got on board
With a bishop, a speaker, and the bishop’s son
And don’t forget Lambert with his nunchuck gun!

When I went to a wedding I was fair gobsmacked
A groom was the only think these mates lacked
Was a bonzer bash, for this brave Ozzie
I enjoyed myself quite more than a mozzie
The place was really goin’ off
’Til the death that caught us all in a toff
But a fair lil’ sheila, she caught me eye
But I promised meself I wouldn’t cry
So I said, “hooroo”, which means goodbye.
Too right. Deadset. Fair dinkum.

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question us now.

With Ron, Hermione, and
Edward and Bella, and a
Monster from Frankenstein; a
Show we’ll never do

Can you feel that Rhythm?
Yeah, that funky Rhythm?
Makes you wanna do it.
Do what?
Dancin’ to that rhythm
Could you make a movie
Dancin’ to that rhythm
Jimmy, will you choose me?
Or dancin’ to that rhythm?

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question us now.

Excuse me captain, I must confess
We’ve gathered all these candidates
From parts unknown to parts we know
To make the great Alliance grow

Well that’s just great, my android friend
But I’m afraid this is the end
With aliens both green and brown
There’s someone here that put us into lockdown!

(Life just sucks when you’re under lockdown)

It’s a heist
It isn’t nice
Violence and vice
Mobsters can do it twice
Crooked cops and a gumshoe pay the price
Can you pull a most spectacular heist?

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question us now.

Wobbledy-bobbledy fiddle-dee-dee
The king has died, no thanks to me
Prince and princess want the crown
Witches bring the kingdom down
Who will win the royal right?
I won’t give in without a fight!

Love and gold can set a cowboy free
Partners and owners of the mine, don’t you see
All the gold, it belongs to me!

Impossible, and I know
Incredible, just to see
Egyptian curses flying about.

Our high school days have passed
The feelings there won’t last
The nerds and jocks all have gone
All we have left
are memories

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question us now.

The Ghost of Legend from Blackmarsh town
Was he the one to bring us down?
With a farmer, a soldier, and a schoolteacher too
What can a New England preacher do?

Mad Mahoney’s treasure brought
Pirates far and near
The voodoo curse we’ll break tonight
’Tis the life of a buccaneer!

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question…

Ladies and gentlemen, someone has been killed
It’s up to you to figure out who, why, and how
There were no conspiracies; the murderer can lie
There are clues hidden in your centerpieces
Get up and question us now!

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